I will spare you the minutiae about my wife and not because I want you to cut to the eroticism but because nothing I list in detail will explain my wife's need for sexual pain.

She and I had been married nearly 15 years before our sex life became unsatisfactory. I enjoyed the sex and wanted more but Kara was less and less satisfied. She accommodated me like a dutiful wife but for at least five years she hadn't had an orgasm (at least not during sex). Kara isn't one to fake anything. For awhile she came close after immersing herself in erotic S&M novels and insisting on sex. Her books were never mainstream. All were fantasy-based sadomasochism and heavy on the misogyny - Nothing you'd expect from a progressive although slightly conservative modern woman. We'd experimented with anal sex and used clothespins on her nipples and clit. She needed more pain and I was too squeamish to go beyond that. I tried role-playing and light spanking but my good-natured demeanor missed the mark. We were both frustrated.